Dating can be an absolute nightmare for shy people. You want to
meet the right person, but you’re too scared to do anything
about it.
Introductions—sticking out one’s hand and looking another
person in the eye—can be terrifying. The brain locks up as
you scramble to think of something relevant to say. You fall apart
as soon as you’re asked what you do for a living. You stammer.
The heat rises in your face and under your arms. You’re suddenly
incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think to yourself,
“Why would anyone care about me? I’m really not that
interesting!”
Fear not. Many shy people have succeeded in meeting new people
and forming lasting, happy relationships. With a little practice,
you can too. Here are some tips for taming your social terror.
1. Prepare a pitch. The question, “So, Sally, what do you
do for a living?” is bound to come up, so have a ready answer.
No need to brag about capturing the company Tidy Break room Award;
just state clearly what you do for a living and don’t apologize
for it!
2. Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves (okay, except
for people like you), so ask questions. Come up with a list before
you leave the house, i.e., How did you get into that line of work?
Where did you go to school? Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie?
And so on.
3. When you fumble, turn the subject to the other person. Whenever
you find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and
crawl off, try saying something like “And what about you?”
4. Listen to what the other person is saying! This is important.
Instead of fretting about what you’ll say next, still the
wheels of your mind and listen. If a man tells you about his weekend
on the golf course, and you know absolutely nothing about golf,
just ask him what he likes about it, how he got into it, etc.
5. Smile. People respond well to people who smile. No need to grin
like an idiot, but a disarming smile will get ‘em every time.
Smiling conveys friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever
possible. Avoid looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing
in a mirror before you leave the house.
6. Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe deeply
and slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable (your face
has become so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself and
go to the restroom.
7. Compliment the other person. Sincerity is key, so find something
you like and mention it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting
a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even
his shoes. No need to go overboard: “Nice shoes,” will
do it.
8. Stay on top of current events. You don’t necessarily want
to bring up your stand on Bush v. Kerry during a first meeting,
but be able to discuss less controversial issues intelligently.
9. Remember the weather! Some people have the “gift of gab,”
the ability to make strangers feel like they’ve known them
forever. They are fearless about talking about the weather, gas
prices, whatever. Shy people worry that talking about mundane things
will make them appear stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the
weather affect everybody. People relate to them.
10. Hold your head up. It’s the simplest, most effective
way to look confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous
smile of yours, gives you a “winner’s vibe.” You’re
guaranteed to be a hit!
Be warned: These tips will not help you if you don’t leave
the house. It’s just too easy to watch a Friends rerun for
the umpteenth time instead of meeting people, but I promise you
that Prince Charming is never going to climb through your bedroom
window.
Talking to strangers can be uncomfortable, but with practice it
will surely get easier. If you have a bad night, congratulate yourself
for making the effort. When you have a good night, understand that
you earned it. Know that countless wonderful nights are on their
way to you.
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and
Marry the Man of Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich, Thin, or
Beautiful). Please visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/
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